I wrote this really long post about my day today, but it was turning into a rage about my aunt
who has come down , this is a problem for me today,
because she came to run roughshod over arranging our lives around my sister’s death,
My older sister Gail passed away this morning unexpectedly, well yesterday,
not quite three months after my sister Kay-K passed away,
I wanted one day with my mom, my brother, my nephew and my family, our family not hers
to remember Gail
it was not to be, i came home, ranted, raged, cried…cried some more,
but it did not change a thing, my aunt was still here being herself,
and my sister Gail is still gone,
i talked while my friends listened, and I am so grateful for them,
no words can define having friends that care enough to call and listen….
one of my sisters co-workers called me and shared with me things Gail had told her,
words she felt i needed to hear, and I did for I had not even known my sister liked my writings….
so Sheldon, Rick, Marjie, Lynn, Venessa, and Lorraine who is now my friend, thanks to Gail…
Thank you from my heart,
you helped me catch my breath….you knew no words were necessary, just listening….
and a Thank You to the ones who have emailed me, it mattered a great deal…
Life is funny, though I haven’t found the laughter again…yet, but I will
i will be gone for a while or maybe just a day,
as writing is where I let all those tears become the ink that
paints letter by letter to make sense of the tears that fall
in the chapter within the book of my journey….
i will write about Gail as i did Kay-K and the others I have had to say goodbye to this year…
but not just yet….I have to say good bye in my heart to make room for the memories …
I know the two of them are looking down, laughing because, well just because,
and I have to tell my mom, i was hurt and that is no excuse to hurt her,
she lost two daughters and I am the only daughter left and i behaved like a brat, a hurt brat yes,
but no excuse for bad behavior….
yes I know…God only gives us what we can handle,
this will be a test of strength over will I do believe
Thank all of you for listening…you have no ideal how that fills the soul….
I am Blessed, and I am Grateful
for each of my WP family. and friends
Take Care…You Matter…
erasing the years
i stand alone
cold as stone
they’re my sisters
I stand at the door
listening for more
they made it home
now I am truly alone